I have been witness to similar scenarios and wondered at the lack of romance. Have you? Here Shelly shares her tale.
Wanted: Invisible woman with hunger, caring hands and full lips.
This might well have been the singles ads posted by a few of my dates, Men who’s idea of a dinner date meant they were allowed to gaze lovingly onto the screens of their smart phones, read and reply to texts, games or follow sporting events. Unfortunately, they lacked the courtesy of informing me in advance, the true nature of their intent.
I accompanied Pete to dinner at his country club. A nice choice for a first date. The short drive from my house was accompanied by the usual chitchat. Yet at dinner I felt strangely invisible. He barely acknowledged my presents, staring instead downward at his toy, fingering the keyboard deftly.
After dinner the three of us, Pete, his smart phone and I walked around the golf course. As he glanced at the latest screen he said,” I love your eyes, your skin so soft. Let’s go back to my place and have some fun.” NO! I replied and begged to go home. I felt rage, disturbed at the insensitivity of men.
Even giving Pete the benefit of doubt, perhaps after all he was glancing at the screen for conversation tips or following lines suggested by an off site, equally inept bachelor. What a fool I thought and I’m getting tired of dating fools.
Steve was cut from the same cloth, following basically the same script. His line after dinner, “I’ve never met anyone like you…I really need you to touch me tonight..” Another fool who didn’t even take the time to get to know me at dinner. Again I replied NO! and went straight home.
Do mature men, once divorced or widowed, subscribe to some bogus website? One that lists, code words for sex, foolish one-liners and insipid dating tips? Have these men with mini-computers in hand forgotten that the woman across the dinner table has given thought to and spent hours preparing for a first date?
A wise woman, in preparation for a first date will shower and shave in all the right places, style and arrange our hair and makeup to perfection. We spray and perfume, consider the light and ambiance of the evening. We change and rearrange our clothes to suit our moods and expectations. Often doing so again before the appointed hour. Hoping the man they meet will notice and admire her effort. Hoping for a sincere and honest comment, a warm smile and a touch of heartfelt appreciation as a prelude to passion.
Do these men truly believe that all they must do to prepare for a date is grab a quick shower, roll on some deodorant, throw on clothes and suit up for sex? Do they think cliff notes a substitute for honest conversation?
Is it worth it, the effort we make to date and mate? In other species, the male is the peacock. In ours, in the digital age, the cock only talks in codes!